Life, Biopsies and Felting

Started the day with a run of the mill mammogram which morphed into an all day biopsy marathon. "They" have been following a 'thing' in my right breast for 2 years....today the radiologist decided although it hadn't grown it had changed shape slightly.....he was quick to point out it could easily be because it was a different machine and told me not to worry.....HA say that to any breast cancer survivor and see what happens......and so from the depths of where ever strength comes from I sucked it up and proceeded with an exhausting day...went back at 11:30 am the allotted biopsy time (after taking and ativan and having a hyper gerbil like conversation with my landlord about what Im not sure)walked down the long hall in my blue gown like I was walking to the gallows....got on the table and waited and waited.....they could not find the biopsy gun......after about 20 minutes it was discovered that they were all down being sterilized and could I come back at 3.....well, not much choice and no point in whining.....so I toodled home. Wrapped my boob in a plastic bag and duct tape to protect the x marks the spot and had a bath to de-stress.....didn't really work but it did pass the time.....got out....went back.....had 3 biopsies of a lump that is less than 3 mm.....cant be much left can there? And now I wait in that strange disconnected head space where the Cancer demon lurks and drools......4-7 business days to get the results.....so in the meantime I will felt and try not to worry about cancer and not having a job and anything else that wants to worm into my brain....ok venting done....now onto the pictures..... Kats in AV did these yesterday and I am so over the moon thrilled with them. Most are portfolio bound. But I wanted to share them here first...

Smaller textural felting scarves

I have made 10 shawls in the new collage style in preparation for the ART IN FASHION show on April 1 at the Seymour Art Gallery in North Vancouver.....with those complete I am now moving on to flower pins (6 done last night) and some smaller thinner scarves 2 done thus far. My production was slowed this weekend with the wee kiddies here for a night as poor old Diana was sicker than a pig.....also baby sitting the grand dog who incidentally also has the runs.....needless to say not a lot of felting was done. I did make some play dough for the kiddies and I made clay pins and buttons while they made played playdough......got an hour in that way. My anxiety around not knowing if and when a kid will be placed here is fueling my creative energy, as always felting is a way to self soothe for me.....When the show is done I will take some pieces to various stores I have lined up. Since I last blogged i have spent 5 days working with an elderly client in the beginning stages of dementia, ......it made me realize that my skill set is a little more varied than I originally thought, Anyway the old dear gave me some lovely saris so watch for some interesting felt pieces in the upcoming days. This scarf is hot of the press yesterday, peach silk with merino felt and some shibori-ed poly bits and bobs...nice length to wear with a sweater or with a coat.....very light....next a sneak peak at the flower pins which could become an obsession.....I am LOVING them.

The process of process

I am slowly becoming aware of the amount of work in these new scarves even before the felting process. I am collecting pieces of fabric for the collage pieces, dyeing fabrics and yarns,heat pressing polys when i cant find suitable ones, shibori-ing, singeing and a ton of other techniques and that is before I even get to lay it out......but.....I am LOVING the results. The deep tactile and visual textures are really pleasing me and I am planning the next one before the last is finished......job satisfaction....lol.

more collage scarves

I am hoping to have a few good days of full on production. Having said that I am not holding my breath as things frequently derail my well made plans. I have laid out the pieces of my next scarf so that I can live with them a bit and add and subtract as the day goes on.....I am planning to make this scarf tonite.....we will see how that goes. And today is a red letter day of sorts...I am meeting with Kjaer Pederson the current Artist in Residence in Maple Ridge and we are going to spend the afternoon making buttons.....I am tres excited! Also it is almost time to check the rusting fabric....woohooo, as it were...lol.

Reflections

The only problem with using dyes that are discontinued is when you get a colour you truly love there is no way to repeat it. Well, strictly speaking thats not true it will just require experimentation and due dilligence and a bit of record keeping.... This is Deka Ruby Red...first bath and exhaust bath, truthfully it was the exhaust bath that i wanted in the beginning as I need pink for my cherry blossom entry but I ended up LOVING this red, now normally I am not a red gal but this one I like. The other colour is DEKA orange. These are dyes I got from Anthea and I am wondering if maybe Idye which is similar to Deka might be worth a shot. I woke this morning with the most intense headache, a kind of brain numbing neck twisting torture. After a bit of reflection I realized that this is what always happens when the two sides of my life collide. Working with an a Aspergers individual whose constant criticism and intense complaining take its toll when it is compounded with layers of misconception and manipulation.....mostly I dont take this stuff personally but that in itself requires energy and a certain amount emotional self protection which fights against the artist part and the need to be open and expressive...hence the crashing head. My solution and salvation is to throw myself into creating something I love......The boat may be sinking but I will be felting....lol. Again I have been reflecting on the whole cancer experience and how it changed my life, for which I will be ever grateful.....There seems to be a huge amount of people I know beginning (or ending as the case may be) that journey at the moment and that looms before me as next month is mammogram month.....lol, not that it is any big deal, I must have had a million by now but sitting in that hall in a blue gown waiting is a stark reminder of how fragile the balance is and how truly lucky I am......beside that all else pales. And just an intresting and surprising little snippet before i get out the felting mats.......I think chemo changed my sense of smell.....when did it start to like patchouli? I have spent YEARS avoiding it.....and yesterday decided to buy myself a treat and got a small package of aromatherapy bubble bath....patchouli and sweet orange and thought I was in heaven.....how weird.

Rusting Fabric Dyeing Roving and Galavanting About

Its been a busy little week. I finished some shawls...made some plans for others and went to the Vancouver Fibre Arts Guild Meeting with Hilary and Tamara So now I am getting back into production focus.....rusting some fabric (with the rusty mattress frame I had to fight to move with me in October) for some felted purses that are fighting to get out of my head and dyeing some roving and locks with some discontinued deka dyes....ruby red.....looks a bit like intestines...lol. So stay tuned, it will take the rust a few days to 'cook' I am hoping the results are as cool as I think they will be.

feels like spring....

While I worked on a new idea for felted flowers Boston discovered the organza.....rolling around in it and walking around with the tangerine one over his head.....he makes an enjoyable design partner.....:)

and the grass is always greener......

Here are the two finished green scarves from the fibre dyed the other day. I am working on a few new techniques for adding texture to my nuno felting....going to require a bit more collecting of bits and pieces. I realize I am becoming totally unenamored with flat nuno felt .....sooooo....I don't know......boring....time to ramp it up...lol. Tommorows agenda is some disperse printing, some mohair and wensleydale lock dyeing.....

Green with envy....

Today was all about the greens. I used some unknown vintage acid dyes that I got from Emma last week....and some ciba that got seriously rusted in the move.......I love the results but I need to get to maiwa for some black. Boston was not so big on the respirator part of dye mixing....

I got some lovely green shades which will hopefully be dry by tomorrow and be incorporated into some scarves......also in the making are some felt nubs to add to hats.........

All in all a fairly prolific day.

logwood collage scarf

This one was fun.....Im loving the textures and the muted logwood colours.....the back layer is organic mull dyed with logwood the wool is logwood dyed merino and topped with silk and linen and some poly bits.....again, I need Kats to photo this one.

logwood natural dyed mull and wool

Another collage scarf in the making.....some merino dyed in the summer time with logwood and some organic mull, also some silk/rayon satin dyed with privet berries....some singed poly for texture and 2 really pretty vintage doilies scored at the thrift store this morning.....